Where’s Adam?
A missing-person case told through a giant advent calendar treehouse of evidence — asking what happens when men disappear from accountability, yet remain present in the harm.
The installation
At the centre of the experience is a giant Our House advent calendar, reimagined here as a treehouse of evidence rather than a murder-mystery house.
The installation invites participants to open doors and windows, uncover visual clues, fragments of testimony, missing-person details, objects, audio moments and questions that gradually build a picture of Adam’s presence and absence.
As the case unfolds, participants are asked to consider not just where Adam is, but where accountability sits: in the perpetrator, in the men around him, in the community response, and in the lessons absorbed by children who witness harm.
Participants explore individually or in small groups, noticing what they believe, what they dismiss and what they have been taught to ignore. The missing-person framework creates suspense, but the deeper purpose is to expose the systems of silence, permission and gendered power that make abuse easier to hide.
What the experience explores
An invitation to ask harder questions about responsibility, masculinity, complicity and what children learn when abuse shapes the home.
Where’s Adam? asks what happens when harm is treated as private, ordinary or somebody else’s problem. It looks at men who perpetrate abuse, men who excuse it, men who stay silent, and men who fail to step in even when the signs are visible.
It also asks what boys are learning in these spaces: what they absorb about manhood, anger, entitlement, intimacy, fear and emotional silence.
- Male violence, denial and minimising.
- Bystanding, collusion and social silence.
- Masculinity, peer culture and learned behaviour.
- Childhood exposure to abuse and what it teaches boys.
- Responsibility, intervention and cultural change.
How the experience unfolds
Like the wider Our House projects, the installation combines guided exploration with facilitated discussion and reflection.
The missing man
Participants enter the case through Adam’s absence: what is known, what is denied, what is missing, and why the story has already been shaped around him.
The evidence treehouse
Doors open onto clues, statements, fragments and objects that reveal patterns of behaviour, control, silence and fear inside the home and around it.
The boys watching
The focus widens to the children in the atmosphere of abuse, especially boys learning what masculinity, power and intimacy are meant to look like.
The reckoning
A facilitated debrief asks where responsibility lies, what men must do differently, and how communities can interrupt the pattern rather than reproduce it.
What participants could take away
A chance to reflect more critically on male accountability, bystanding and the long shadow abuse can cast over children and community life.
Recognise male accountability
Shift attention away from narratives that only scrutinise women and toward the actions, choices and permissions that make abuse possible.
Understand bystanding
Notice how silence, discomfort and loyalty can become forms of complicity when abusive behaviour is known but left unchallenged.
See what boys learn
Reflect on how boys growing up around abuse may absorb lasting lessons about power, entitlement, fear and emotional expression.
Name real interventions
Identify concrete ways men, professionals and communities can challenge harmful norms and respond earlier.
Make change practical
Translate reflection into different language, better safeguarding, stronger policy and healthier models of masculinity.
Book Where’s Adam?
An immersive installation and facilitated workshop for adult audiences, professional settings, partner organisations and community groups ready to explore accountability, bystanding and what boys learn in homes shaped by abuse.
Online resources
Support information and links connected to domestic abuse awareness and survivor support.
Bedfordshire based services
Butterflies in Shades of Grey
The Butterflies in Shades of Grey programme is a comprehensive support initiative designed to assist both direct and indirect victims of domestic and sexual violence.
Visit serviceBedfordshire Police
Bedfordshire Police and partners are working together to tackle perpetrators of violence or abuse against women and girls, including rape and sexual offences, stalking and domestic abuse.
Visit serviceBDAP
Bedfordshire Domestic Abuse Partnership offers information, support pathways and local connections for people affected by domestic abuse across Bedfordshire.
Visit serviceNational services
24 Hour National Domestic Abuse Helpline for Women
Helping women escape domestic abuse.
ManKind Initiative
Helping men escape domestic abuse.
Visit serviceGalop
Support for LGBT+ people who have experienced abuse and violence.
Visit service